Everybody is 0–0. Nobody is comfortable.
Season 3 opens with two projected coin flips, a defending champion cast as an underdog and six opportunities for Yahoo’s preseason confidence to age badly.
The wait is nearly over. ZHWFFL’s third season begins with Yahoo projecting four of the six matchups within five points—and two of them within a single point. That means no soft launch, no comfortable warm-up and almost no margin for the first regrettable bench decision of the year.
The tightest line belongs to JHENNY and Cody’s Brussel Sprouts, separated by only 0.63 projected points. Fennel Cake Mafia and Kakaw – The Empire Strikes Back are barely farther apart at 0.83, with Bijan Robinson and Jayden Daniels squaring off against Ja’Marr Chase and Josh Jacobs.
Defending champion Conrad begins the title defense in unfamiliar territory. Cracker of the league #CTESPN is a slight 49–51 underdog against Murfstyle, whose Josh Allen–Amon-Ra St. Brown core gives Dakota the narrow projected edge.
The clearest favorite is R.I.P. to the Bird. Chris carries a 58% win probability and the week’s largest projection advantage over BK, powered by Lamar Jackson, Puka Nacua and Bucky Irving. Brad counters with Joe Burrow and Justin Jefferson—and the chance to turn Yahoo’s strongest opinion into the season’s first receipt.
Six games. Six opening statements.
JHENNY vs Cody’s Brussel Sprouts
Jalen Hurts and Jonathan Taylor lead John against Cody’s Jahmyr Gibbs and A.J. Brown. With only 0.63 points between them, one touchdown could swing the entire opener.
Fennel Cake Mafia vs Kakaw
Brennan brings Jayden Daniels, Bijan Robinson and Brock Bowers. Mitchell answers with Ja’Marr Chase, Josh Jacobs and Garrett Wilson in the slate’s highest-projected matchup.
Cracker of the league #CTESPN vs Murfstyle
Conrad opens the defense of his crown with Justin Herbert, James Cook and Trey McBride. Dakota counters with Josh Allen, Amon-Ra St. Brown and Omarion Hampton.
Kluv’s Mystery Mustache vs Air Raid Lars
Caleb’s CeeDee Lamb, Malik Nabers and Travis Kelce face John Lars’ Christian McCaffrey, Derrick Henry and Drake Maye. Yahoo likes Lars, but health tags loom on both sides.
sandyrocket vs SAQUON THESE NUTS
Sean’s loaded receiving group—Jaxon Smith-Njigba and Rashee Rice—meets Jeremy’s appropriately named Saquon Barkley, plus Breece Hall and Drake London.
BK vs R.I.P. to the Bird
Chris owns the week’s widest projected edge behind Lamar Jackson and Puka Nacua. Brad needs Joe Burrow, Justin Jefferson and Kyren Williams to produce the opening-week upset.